My alphabetical order review of memorable stories nearly derails at “Q.” The only “Q” stories I can think of didn’t resonate all that deeply with me personally: the QSCB federal funds that will help to build a new artificial turf field at Lebanon High School, and the QRF story I explained back in 2003.
(QRF, for the uninitiated, stands for Qualified Rehabilitation Facility. It refers to organizations that make it their business to hire a large percentage of people with disabilities. A 1977 state law mandates that all public agencies looking for a product or services must go with a QRF if it can provide the service desired. That makes some businesses who would like the opportunity to provide that service very unhappy. For the record, the organization that opposed the QRF situation in Lebanon, the Fair Competition Alliance, is still out there. QSCB stands for Qualified School Construction Bonds, a low-interest federal loan program for certain kinds of new construction.)
Interesting situations, both, but I had to really hunt for them in looking for a “Q” entry. Instead I’m going to go with memorable quotes. That’s one of my favorite parts of this job: talking to people who really know how to sum up a situation.
Here are just a tiny sampling of some great quotes in my almost 16 years of employment here:
– “That was quality entertainment.” This was said by one of three guys who had been waiting hopefully for a really good, muddy wreck during the first Mountain Mud Festival, shortly after a Jeep Cherokee flew over a ramp and squashed its nose trying to stick the landing. I blogged it about back on my “M” list, and I still think it’s funny.
– “I like pink.” This, from a 2006 story about a breast cancer fundraiser at the Linn County Fair, “Tough Enough to Wear Pink.” The speaker was this huge guy with biceps the size of hubcaps, who bench presses 290 and has a tattoo of a flaming Iron Cross. He didn’t buy his pink-pinstriped shirt for the fair – he just likes pink. Not arguing. Definitely not arguing.
– “I am working my butt off. I’m doing all my homework every night, and I’m going to bed, like, at 2 in the morning so I can do everything. It’s so hard.” This was from a sophomore at Lebanon High School who was angry about the fact that she was no longer allowed an off-campus lunch period because her grades weren’t good enough. She was complaining, rather than boasting about her newfound personal responsibility. It took all my acting skills to nod seriously at her as I recorded her comments.
– “I thought it was just a week or two and then it was over.” This was a fifth-grader who was amazed to learn how a presidential campaign worked. One can dream, kiddo.
– “Um, I’m awesome?” This was a very recent quote from a Sweet Home High senior who graduated this year with perfect attendance, from preschool on, in response to the obvious query, how on earth did you manage that? He just sounded so much like one of the Princesses that I had to laugh – and include it in the story.
– “If you get frustrated, if you can’t get it, just pick it up and eat that sucker.” Sweet Home High School teacher Steve Hummer, helping his students learn to eat with chopsticks in preparation for a summer trip to Japan.
– “They’re great goats for older people, because you don’t have to chase them as much. Hopefully, they’ll just fall right over and wait for you.” This came from an exhibitor at a Fainting Goats show last year in Scio. I had never heard of fainting goats. They don’t exactly faint, turns out, but they have a genetic condition that causes their muscles to lock up when they’re startled, and sometimes, well, they just topple over temporarily. One exhibitor at that same show said one of her goats locked up on a hillside and couldn’t keep its footing. End over end it went. “It reminded me of a Slinky,” she said.
