Jeff Pearlman wrote an opinion piece on CNN about being “That Dad,” the dad who arranges play dates and joins his daughter’s tea parties and isn’t afraid to change a diaper. His message to other dads is that becoming That Dad isn’t hard, and it’s more worthwhile – to themselves and their children – than anything they’ve ever dreamed.
I didn’t quite have the 21st-century version of That Dad, but for the ’70s, it was probably pretty close. I doubt he did diaper duty and I don’t recall him ever playing dolls with me. But he did build me a dollhouse. He read aloud to me. He took my brother and myself trick-or-treating. And he made my lunch occasionally, even if my classmates were puzzled by his specialty peanut-butter-and-lettuce sandwiches.
He was never too serious to get silly with us. He loved bad puns (still does). He’d sing in public (still does that, too). Somewhere, there’s a picture of him wearing a yarn wig and playing a paper ukulele, his face screwed up in the world’s weirdest pucker.
Best of all, he always believed in me. He expected me to bring home good report cards, not because good report cards in themselves were so important, but because he knew I was capable of getting them. I learned never to show him my homework before I turned it in unless I wanted him going over every word with me, editing, correcting, explaining (which I was usually too stiff-necked to want; see my blog on coaching). I once commented that I found psychology interesting and might study it, and he immediately said I should go right on to getting a medical degree and studying psychiatry. Top of the heap! Why not?
After my childhood, he went right on from being the ’70s version of That Dad to the 21st-century version of That Grandpa. On more than one occasion, when Husband and Other Grandparents Who Live Closer weren’t readily available, he drove an hour and a half to be with Slightly Older Princess (then just Sole Princess) so I could do something for work. He’s making that same drive tomorrow to see her in “Oliver!” and I expect he’ll make it again next week to see Little Princess in “Goldilocked.”
I don’t know if my dad spent time with my brother and me as kids, and my girls now in their childhood, because society was changing and he felt pressured to do so, or if because, being a teacher, he had more time or inclination, or if it was just because we were all just such amazing kids. Whatever the reason, he did, and my life is all the richer for it. I know the Princesses’ lives are, too.
I hope he feels like his is, as well.